Positive steps stories
Read these inspiring and powerful stories from new mums as part of BACP’s new campaign, Positive Steps.
Emma, mum of three, Hertfordshire.
"I have three children and have benefited from some form of therapy and counselling after the birth of all of them. The cause for me seeking help was different each time.
"My oldest son was born during the pandemic in May 2021. I gave birth to him four or five days after the wards reopened. I struggled with my mental health from as soon as he was born but it definitely got worse over the course of the first five to six weeks. My health visitor could see something wasn’t quite right and stepped up support. She also put me in touch with a local charity who provided free counselling for up to an hour a week. It was a space to talk about what I was going through without any judgement. If it wasn’t for my health visitor I don’t think I would be here today.
"After the birth of my second child, I was fine for the first couple of months but then post-natal depression started to settle in. I didn’t feel it was taken seriously at first when I was reporting symptoms to my GP and midwives. I pushed through to five months but then had a really bad day when it became clear I needed help. After this I was put on anti-depressants by my GP and started weekly counselling.
"It was a completely different experience for my third son, who I had a traumatic birth experience with. The team in the hospital proactively organised cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) for me as I was experiencing PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) symptoms like having flashbacks, as well as constant anxiety about danger.
"I was pretty cynical about cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) at first but now I would 100 % recommend it to new mums who may be struggling and need support. My advice to new parents is to push for the support you need and be vocal about what you are feeling. Therapy and counselling can help you get through the difficult periods."
Deb, mum of three, London.
"Since 2019, I’ve started my own business, The Women’s Association, and had three children who are now five, two, and six months old. It’s been such a busy six years, and somewhere along the way, I started shutting down my emotions so that I could do everything that was required of me as a mum and business owner.
"Being a founder of a small start up I was not able to have maternity leave after giving birth to each of my kids, this gave birth to extreme mum guilt and caused postnatal depression after each pregnancy. I told my midwives, but I didn’t get any real support until my third. That’s when a midwife referred me to the counselling charity MumsAid. At first, I was really hesitant, I didn’t know exactly how to articulate what I was going through and I assumed it would take a lot out of me emotionally which would be hard to navigate as a mum and business owner.
"After my third child, I could see how the accumulation of not having maternity leave and the stresses of running a business were causing me to shut down emotionally and become highly functional. I wanted to make a change so that I could be emotionally present for my kids as they grew up. In my first session with MumsAid I went in feeling apprehensive, but once I let my guard down, I realised it was a safe space where I could unpack the weight I had been carrying.
"I’m genuinely grateful for the support I received from MumsAid that has helped to add clarity and perspective at a time where I was still trying to figure out the balance of motherhood, work and life."